Praying to Perry in School or Why Liberals Will Burn in Every Religion’s Version of Hell

Dec 07

So I watched this little video on the YouTubes where Captain Hairtastic Rick Perry is taking a stroll in the woods (probably on the family property N***erville or whatever the hell it was called) talking all cozy-like; like he’s just my buddy talking to me about the hard on he gets from going to church. And he talks about this country being founded on faith (I will assume faith of the religious nature as opposed to the “holy shit I hope we defeat the British” type) and Obama’s war on religion (under the same file with his war on guns I am sure) and a little comment on the equivalency between gays in the millitary and kids not being allowed to pray in school as evidence of the abyssmal state of affairs in this country. Here, take a little stroll with my good ol’ boy Rick and the soundtrack that he has playing every time he strolls deep in the hearta’ texas….
Wasn’t that fun? I almost expected to see a little teardrop falling from his eye as he talks about kids not openly celebrating Christmas. And then from the very shallows of my twenty-times-too-small heart, I sense a disturbance in the force.  I slowly escape the trance-like state of his all powerful southern accent and impeccable hair and begin to laugh. I laugh because I have a vision of Rick Perry’s America too. An America where the religious-right goes into collective fits of apoplexy when their little Bible thumping children come skipping into their suburban home and the little tykes tell their conservative mommies and daddies that at school today they watched Muslim-Americans pray to Allah. I continue laughing as I imagine the uproar as the religious-right parents descend upon their school boards and demand that such blasphemies be brought to an immediate halt and ask the board how they could allow the hellbound liberal heathens to manipulate them into allowing Muslim prayers at their darling little angels’ schools!  But I laugh loudest when I come to the imaginary school board’s response: “The Liberals (may God have no mercy on their black, black souls) had nothing to do with this. In fact, they warned us not to allow it. But our great-haired redeemer in Washington and his illustrious band of angels from on high in congress passed a bill allowing prayer in school.”


And Lo, the throngs of the righteous Christians were ashamed. And hung their heads in dismay, for they knew not what they did when they listened to the great deceiver in Washington. And some among them cried out: Oh Lord! Why hast thou forsaken us? We knew not that there were other religions that could pray in our schools! Now they are dens of juvenile iniquity, with heathens calling out to false gods and idols.
And then the Lord descended upon them…
and took a big ole shit on their heads… Texas size.

Read More

Something Scott Walker and I Agree On

Nov 08

Yes; you read that correctly.
There is something that the prime candidate for “Biggest Douche in the Universe 2011” and I agree on.
It comes from an article I read this morning in the Sheboygan Press regarding the conifer that stands in the rotunda of our state’s capitol.

“Walker said Monday that the evergreen decorated with ornaments and adorned with a star in the center of Wisconsin’s Capitol Rotunda is a Christmas tree, not a holiday tree as it’s been called for the past 25 years.”

With that one statement Walker has again solidified his stance on returning the state of cheese to the days of yore; the days of indentured servitude, everyone packing heat, and the offending of non-Christians everywhere with a plant.
To many people, though I tend to disagree, I am a screaming liberal – frothing at the mouth with my leftist views. So why would I agree with Scott Walker on publicly renaming the “Holiday Tree” a Christmas Tree? Putting it simply, because it is a Christmas Tree.
The Christians of antiquity incorporated the pagan rituals and celebrations into their faith’s practices to make following Jesus an easier pill to swallow. Christmas is a pagan holiday with Christian candy coating. So if any Wiccans or neo-Druids are offended, they need to do some research on the holiday.

The name “Christmas” I could see as somewhat unnerving. It is after all Christ Mass, which goes beyond being Christian to being strictly Catholic. But for those of us non Catholic kids who grew up celebrating Christmas, we didn’t think twice about the “mass” aspect of the name and more often than not didn’t even consider the Christ aspect. Sure they sang songs about Jesus and Charlie Brown’s classic Christmas special had Linus brilliantly reiterating the birth of the man, but in all honesty Christmas was more about Santa than church stuff.

I celebrate Christmas every year as a staunch agnostic. I do so because it is a part of American culture, not because of any religious overtones. I decorate my house with all the symbols of the season: a decorated plastic tree, energy sucking colored lights, tinsel and garland permanently knitted into my carpet and the styrofoam Santa sign that says Happy Birthday Troy on it that my mom made for me many, many years ago. (Yes, I am one of those lucky kids to be born on December 25th.) But I also have a mennorah that goes on my entertainment center, right next to my Buddha statue that permanently resides there. (As I write this I am contemplating the fabrication of a little Santa hat to put on my jolly little Buddha.) I do these things because it is a tradition. I do them because I want my kids to have the amazing memories of the holiday season that I was fortunate enough to have. I do them because it brings my family together. And I would do them all the same if Christmas was called Saturnalia, Allah Day, or Shiny Pineapple Festival. I will even go so far as to say that if it were called Lucifermas, I would still celebrate the holiday with the same themes of family, giving and love. Because really, when it gets down to it, the name doesn’t mean squat.

A Christmas tree is a Christmas tree because that’s what we have been calling it for 100 years or more and I for one am just fine with maintaining that tradition. The hyper sensitive people who find the name offensive really need to ask themselves why they are offended by a namesake for this tree that represents the one time of year where nearly all Americans of any faith (or lack thereof) come together under the unifying theme of “peace on earth, goodwill toward men”.

Read More

The Curious Case of Hal Jordan: How Skin Color Didn’t Change the Color of The Green Lantern. Part One

Oct 26

   Its funny how a conversation about a comic book hero can result in an analysis of the evolution of racism. I was enlightening a latin friend of mine on why Green Lantern was white and not black in the movie that came out earlier this year. The point made to me was that it seemed kind of racist to make Hal Jordan, who was black in the recent Justice League cartoons, white in the movie. Now as most comic book nerds like myself know, Hal Jordan aka “The Green Lantern” was white, then black and now white again.* Though I am not certain of the dates, I do remember in the late nineties and early 2000’s the political correctness euphoria that swept the comic universes. Hal Jordan underwent the same ethnicity change operation that Nick Fury had. (Its the reverse procedure that Michael Jackson did.) Colossus of the X-men had finally stopped fooling himself and the rest of the X-Men and finally came out of the X-Closet; only to return to his hetero ways shortly thereafter. (Maybe this is why Herman Cain thinks homosexuality is a choice??)
This conversation got me thinking (surprise, surprise) about the current state of racism and political correctness in this country. In order to justify HOW I will say what I say about racism, I am going to address PCness first. This will (I hope) establish for you, my intrepid reader, a foundation for understanding the method I use for addressing such issues.
There is a pendulum that swings toward extremism in all things in this society. The current political climate in this country is a prime example. (That will be covered in a later blog, believe me.) When the term “politically correct” first reared its good intentioned, but somewhat nauseating head, it was a point in our history when acquiring a certain level of sensitivity to others who are not of the same predominating majority (aka, European heritage, Christian, heterosexual) was a very good idea, if not necessary. The social conscience of America had finally woken up to the fact that we as a people are supposed to be a “melting pot”… at least in theory. But as is too often the case, the extreme left took this a wee bit too far. Now there were legal ramifications for undefined harassment “crimes”, speech that was deemed insensitive to anyone could land one in court, and the term “hate crime” was conceived to encapsulate any violence between two or more people of differing ethnicities.
Now just to clarify, copping a feel on a subordinate coworker or threatening said coworker’s employment status if they fail to accomodate one sexually is flat out wrong. That is just plain douchebag activity. Calling a black person the N-word is also douchebaggy — unless you are also of African descent (which to this day does not make any sense to me: if it is so incredibly offensive, why continue to promote its usage??). And singling out a person of different color and proceeding to beat them senseless simply for being that color is worthy of a waterboarding session. However — and I witnessed this multiple times — telling a Pollock joke or a Jewish/Catholic/Protestant joke was not considered to be as demeaning. I attribute this to the fact that these slurs were acceptable because they were directed at predominantly European targets. In other words, white people could pick on white people; unless if it was a gay joke. Then you would again be crossing this ambiguous line and entering the realm of “not PC”. It was a very confusing and somewhat nerve-wracking time.
As time went on the term itself lost its new phrase smell and sheen, and being politically correct was accepted as the status quo — for the most part. There were, and still are regrettably, those whites who choose to remain ignorant douchebags and I doubt any level of law enforcement will bring them out of their provincial holes in the ground. But that’s ok. — wait — WHAT!!??? Did I just say that its ok for white people to be non PC?? Yeah. I did. Because I learned something from the hyper sensitive years: if we as a society feel it is necessary to be accepting of ALL people regardless of ethnicity, intelligence level, religion or sexual preference, then we as a society have to accept ALL people. Do you understand my point? As much as I personally may not like another American for whatever repulsive traits that individual may have, I cannot “enforce” my beliefs or thoughts upon him or her. I have to accept that we all are American people, even the assholes.  (Do not take this out of the context of political correctness!)
Having established this as my modus operandi, allow me to clarify that I am absolutely sick of polical correctness. If you will notice, I have not used the terms African-American, Native American, Mexican-American, or Euro-American. If this upsets you, I will gladly remind you that I am not forcing you to read this. I am white. I am 100% of Celtic descent. I do not call myself a Euro-American. I do not call myself a Celtic-American. I call myself a white guy or just a plain old American. I will even go so far as to call myself a whitey or a cracker or a ginger who grew out of it. I call people of African descent black people or American. I call (and I will admit that I can be inaccurate at times) people of Hispanic heritage Mexicans or American. (My apologies to the Puerto Ricans and Cubans; if it’s any consolation, I cant tell the difference between Germans and Austrians either.) I call the aboriginal peoples of this hemisphere Indians or American (picking up on the pattern here?).  People from the Middle East are Arabs or Hindis, people from Japan/China/Korea/Laos/Vietnam are Asians and people from the Philipines or Fiji or Indonesia are Pacific Islanders….or… you guessed it: Americans all.
I will not say that I am so evolved to not see color. Anyone who makes that claim is either literally, physically blind or has his or her head waaaaayyyy too far up their pretentious arse. I see color. I see differences in all people. But I do not cast individuals into a negative or positive light based on these simple perceptions. I do not hate someone for their ancestry. I simply do not care. Now do not misinterpret this as being holier-than-thou or putting myself on some pedestal. I am simply pointing out that I do not care if someone is black, white, gay, handicapped, tattooed over 95% of their body, fat, skinny, purple, still sleeps with a blanky… whatever. I just don’t care about that rot. There are people in this country with whom I share no ethnic history that are a bazillion times more appealling to me then some others that may share with me an identical heritage. Color does not make the individual. The character of the person makes the individual.

Over the years I have worked with, worked for, played with, prayed with, dated and became friends with people from all over the globe.  I have family members whose heritage is not predominated by European ancestry.  I earned my degree in American Indian Studies; yes that is the program’s official title.  The first love of my life was a Latina.  My first wife was nearly-translucent white.  My second wife was American Indian.  Are you getting the picture?


The words people use to designate or classify other people are a part of our culture.  Unfortunately, too many people for too many years used derogatory designations.  And I am not just speaking of white Americans terms for non-white Americans.  Go look up news articles from (I believe) the New York Times during the 40 years or so surrounding the turn of the 20th century.  There were some very interesting terms for the Irish and Italian immigrants.  Then try not to forget the colorful expressions for German Americans during the first half of the 20th century.  Americans have been using terms to designate each other from the beginning.  Sometimes with malicious intent, sometimes not.  But haven’t we as a nation of many nationalities come to the point in our social evolution where we can finally say that we no longer have a need for the word police?  Where one American can say “that black woman” or “this white guy” or “that group of Asian kids” or “those old Jewish ladies” and not worry about somebody’s PC warning system setting off an alarm?

There is something that needs to happen yet in this country; the next step in our social evolution towards being a truly equal nation where racism as we understand it will no longer exist.  And it requires the pendulum that swings from the extreme right to the extreme left finally achieving equilibrium.  Which I will address in part 2 of this article.


If I have offended you or seemed racially insensitive, I am sorry. Not because I feel bad for offending you. No… I am sorry because we live in a world where stupid shit like color still matters to some.


*It has been brought to my attention after posting this that Hal Jordan did not undergo the race change operation like Nick Fury.  The black Green Lantern was named John Stewart, who ironically dropped the “h” in his first name, became white and left the Green Lantern Corps to host a satirical talk show on Comedy Central.  I apologize to any DC Comics gurus who I may have insulted by this mistake; what can I say, I am a Marvel guy.

Read More

Its in the blood…

Oct 25

I have been watching various shows/movies/cartoons lately about ancient Britain and Ireland for this past week. Not that that in itself is noteworthy– anybody who knows me is aware of my love for things Welsh, Scottish and Irish. The epiphany that took place last night while watching Liam Neeson play Michael Collins in the film of the same name is what became worth mentioning.
For the better part of the last 20 years I have been studying, both academically and recreationally, the histories of conflicts between the English and the neighboring nations that comprise the “British Isles”. For some unknown reason I have always been on the side of the “oppressed” or “conquered” peoples who fight to maintain a national identity; always feeling such pride in my non-English heritage, while repugnantly shunning the Anglo-Saxon blood I inherited. But something happened after watching Michael Collins. Something clicked in my brain that resulted in a personally disturbing realization: what if I really do enjoy conflict? What if I have actually spent these many years sabotaging myself in search of the next struggle against anyone or anything who I deem as an oppressor? What if I am “programmed” to do so because of centuries of rebellion and resistance genetically transferred from my forefathers to me?
But then I look at some of the circumstances I have found myself in and realize that perhaps were it not for the Celtic blood in my veins, I would have succumbed to defeat and given up on myself. Nearly every bloody day I am fighting with the mother of two of my daughters. And damn near every bloody time, I fight this never ending battle against my will. I would love to have a tranquil life. A life where I can be the best damn dad I can without having to deal with the latest tantrum or whim or threat.
I get so tired… literally. Exhaustion is always creeping in to my mind, telling me to just give up: “Let it go Troy… the girls do not need parents who are constantly at each others’ throats. Just walk away and hope that the girls understand that you do it for them, for their chance to have a life without the struggles of their parents spilling over on them. They may be better off having a childhood without you.” And I consider these arguments; dwell on their viability. And my heart breaks every time I consider it because of my personal loss. But I tell myself that it is not about me, it cannot be about my wants or wishes. It HAS to be about the girls! And that’s when the Irish kicks in… I CAN’T let those girls lose their father! No f*@!ing way! I will fight. I will fight until my children do not need me to fight anymore. I have spent all these years studying Irish uprisings, Welsh resistances and Scottish rebellions to learn from my ancestors that if something is worth fighting for, one NEVER quits.
….until one is shot, drawn and quartered, beheaded, hanged or sent into exile. Unfortunately for their mother, I do not see these things happening anytime soon.

Read More

I threw up on The Left Show’s website and it spilled over here!

Oct 11

The cost of living is increased because living now includes technology that we THINK we need. We as a society are shooting ourselves in the collective foot because we keep adding to our personal cost of living. For a one time fee of $20 give or take (for old school television) we can get FREE HD “entertainment” from an antenna that has more channel choices than basic cable (when you figure that about 2/3rds of the channels on basic cable are not worthy of being called entertainment).
We are still a nation of bigger, better, faster, more (yeah, 4 Non Blondes reference… choke it down and move on). Every 2 years we have to upgrade our toys. WHY???? When we look for someone to blame in our cost of living woes, we need but look in the mirror. We will not be a satisfied consumer society until we have consumed all… including ourselves.

Read More

World War II Veterans Are Now Hipsters! Hooray!

Oct 09

I wanted to avoid double tapping content between here and my Facebook page, but this image was too good that I wanted to include it here.
With all the mainstream media barking about the hippies/hipsters who are a part of the #OccupyWallStreet movement, I found this picture to be a much needed sigh of relief. If one actually looks beyond the surface of what the media forces us to see, one may actually find the truth.
Its not about politics. Its not about religion. Its about “The Iron Heel” that is crushing millions of people in the name of profits and policy.
*The Iron Heel by Jack London… a good read.

Read More

An obsolete Statue of Liberty retires and begins long walk back to France

Oct 07

The end of an era: Statue of Liberty leaves America for France

After 125 years of diligent service, the Statue of Liberty was forced to retire today. In an emotional ceremony attended by tens of Americans, President Barack Obama thanked Lady Liberty for overstaying her welcome. “Your message was one of hope for millions of poor and weak individuals across the globe seeking the promise of the American Dream. Unfortunately, that dream is no longer available for American citizens, much less any other emigrant or refugee.”
After the 151 foot symbol of America’s policy for welcoming the world’s huddled masses made her descent off of Liberty Island, Arizona governor Jan Brewer and Texas governor Rick Perry were heard saying “yee haw” and some other nonsense about “contracts for fencing”. When asked about his reaction, the Texas governor stuttered and stammered what could best be deciphered as “gurgity ploo, sayanora de los mehicanos… spizzle dizzle dee dee.”
Lady Liberty said in her farewell address, “I look forward to returning to the land of my birth; the political and meteorological climates are very appealing and to be honest, I have been watching the Jersey Shore for 125 years. If my hands had not been full, I would’ve slit my wrists ages ago!”

Read More