An obsolete Statue of Liberty retires and begins long walk back to France

Oct 07

The end of an era: Statue of Liberty leaves America for France

After 125 years of diligent service, the Statue of Liberty was forced to retire today. In an emotional ceremony attended by tens of Americans, President Barack Obama thanked Lady Liberty for overstaying her welcome. “Your message was one of hope for millions of poor and weak individuals across the globe seeking the promise of the American Dream. Unfortunately, that dream is no longer available for American citizens, much less any other emigrant or refugee.”
After the 151 foot symbol of America’s policy for welcoming the world’s huddled masses made her descent off of Liberty Island, Arizona governor Jan Brewer and Texas governor Rick Perry were heard saying “yee haw” and some other nonsense about “contracts for fencing”. When asked about his reaction, the Texas governor stuttered and stammered what could best be deciphered as “gurgity ploo, sayanora de los mehicanos… spizzle dizzle dee dee.”
Lady Liberty said in her farewell address, “I look forward to returning to the land of my birth; the political and meteorological climates are very appealing and to be honest, I have been watching the Jersey Shore for 125 years. If my hands had not been full, I would’ve slit my wrists ages ago!”

2 comments

  1. JM Bell /

    Poor lady. 125 years of Jersey Shore … I’d leave, too.

  2. I suggest adding a facebook like button for the blog!

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